I`M HERE TO STAY :)

HAHAHA

2007-08-09T07:40:00.000-07:00

IM with Issa:

After a few mins..

=))

2007-07-09T19:43:00.000-07:00

SHE'll never love you like I do.

It hurts me, boy; not the fact that you have EACH OTHER, but the fact that you don't realize I'm here - willing to give the LOVE you DESERVE, and wanting to make you HAPPY.

How come it isn't me whom your heart beats for?

When are you gonna realize that it's NEVER gonna be her who will make you feel loved?

When will I be THE ONE for you, boy?

Convo with Micko.

2007-07-01T08:06:00.000-07:00

M (8:43:38 PM): oi
dehzdhezdehz (8:43:43 PM): o?
M (8:43:47 PM): aw
M (8:44:01 PM): glit k?
dehzdhezdehz (8:44:13 PM): uh.. may kraptan ba ko?
M (8:44:19 PM): aw
M (8:44:21 PM): :(
M (8:44:31 PM): tae sori
M (8:44:39 PM): sori tlga
dehzdhezdehz (8:44:43 PM): aaaaaaaaaah.... para san?
M (8:44:57 PM): kc sabi ko dba mag oonline ako
M (8:45:02 PM): nung gabi
M (8:45:23 PM): ui
dehzdhezdehz (8:45:27 PM): kelan?
M (8:45:30 PM): aw
M (8:45:34 PM): 2 nman
dehzdhezdehz (8:45:51 PM): o bakit?
M (8:45:55 PM): glit ka ba?
dehzdhezdehz (8:46:11 PM): no.....
M (8:46:28 PM): sure
M (8:46:31 PM): ?
dehzdhezdehz (8:46:43 PM): oo
dehzdhezdehz (8:47:23 PM): o?
M (8:47:26 PM): aw
M (8:47:31 PM): naka mura ka pa ah
M (8:47:34 PM): :D
dehzdhezdehz (8:47:37 PM): san?
M (8:47:43 PM): status
dehzdhezdehz (8:47:49 PM): eeeeeh
M (8:47:53 PM): :))
dehzdhezdehz (8:47:53 PM): manhid eh
M (8:47:56 PM): aw
M (8:48:06 PM): sory na >:D<
M (8:48:14 PM): haha
dehzdhezdehz (8:48:32 PM): ..
M (8:48:37 PM): aw
dehzdhezdehz (8:48:49 PM): musta naman kayo ni kath? ok na kayo?
M (8:48:54 PM): waaaaaaa
M (8:49:02 PM): lko ka
dehzdhezdehz (8:49:06 PM): bakit?
M (8:49:09 PM): wala lng
M (8:49:13 PM): :D
M (8:49:15 PM): ok naman
M (8:49:20 PM): kaw msta kana?
dehzdhezdehz (8:49:23 PM): kayo na ulit? haha good
M (8:49:27 PM): waaaaa
M (8:49:29 PM): ndi noh
dehzdhezdehz (8:49:41 PM): kunwari paaaa
M (8:49:48 PM): uu nga
M (8:49:50 PM): pramios
M (8:49:53 PM): pramis
M (8:50:16 PM): ui
dehzdhezdehz (8:50:23 PM): haha o?
M (8:50:27 PM): tae alis ndin ako
dehzdhezdehz (8:50:36 PM): may ssbhn muna ko
M (8:50:40 PM): tnignan lng kita kung ol ka
dehzdhezdehz (8:50:49 PM): may ssbhn ako
M (8:50:49 PM): ?
dehzdhezdehz (8:50:50 PM): ok lang?
M (8:50:53 PM): cge
dehzdhezdehz (8:50:56 PM): ehhhhhhhhhh
dehzdhezdehz (8:50:59 PM): bka magalit ka eh
M (8:51:02 PM): ndi noh
M (8:51:08 PM): bka nga ikaw glit eh
dehzdhezdehz (8:51:11 PM): weh
dehzdhezdehz (8:51:14 PM): di nga?
M (8:51:16 PM): uu
dehzdhezdehz (8:51:20 PM): promise ka muna
M (8:51:23 PM): promise
M (8:51:32 PM): bat ako mgglit?
dehzdhezdehz (8:51:34 PM): wag ka maggalit ah?
dehzdhezdehz (8:51:39 PM): ewan..
M (8:51:39 PM): uu
M (8:51:49 PM): ?
M (8:52:04 PM): :)
dehzdhezdehz (8:52:05 PM): di ko tlga alam kung dpat kong sbhn sayo to eh.. gusto kitaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
dehzdhezdehz (8:52:07 PM): :|
M (8:52:15 PM): ahhh
dehzdhezdehz (8:52:16 PM): sorrrrrrrry
M (8:52:23 PM): eh bkit ka nagsosori?
dehzdhezdehz (8:52:34 PM): mali eh
M (8:52:39 PM): anung mali?
dehzdhezdehz (8:52:43 PM): na gusto kita
M (8:52:55 PM): aw
M (8:52:58 PM): bkit nman?
dehzdhezdehz (8:53:22 PM): hmmmmm..
M (8:53:26 PM): ako nga dpat mag sori eh
M (8:53:30 PM): :D
dehzdhezdehz (8:53:32 PM): kasi parang may thing na kayo ni kath
dehzdhezdehz (8:53:36 PM): ?
dehzdhezdehz (8:53:39 PM): bat ka magssory?
M (8:53:41 PM): aw
M (8:54:10 PM): kc bka iniicp mo na bnale wala nlng kta
M (8:54:14 PM): ?
M (8:54:16 PM): :)
dehzdhezdehz (8:54:24 PM): haha ok lang.. sino ba ko sayo
dehzdhezdehz (8:54:25 PM): hehehe
M (8:54:30 PM): nyal
M (8:54:35 PM): ganun?
dehzdhezdehz (8:55:49 PM): oo
M (8:55:50 PM): bxta
dehzdhezdehz (8:55:57 PM): anong bxta?
M (8:55:57 PM): hehe
M (8:56:00 PM): wla ln
dehzdhezdehz (8:56:05 PM): labo.. ano nga?
M (8:56:14 PM): wala tae
M (8:56:15 PM): :D
dehzdhezdehz (8:56:21 PM): tae ka forever
dehzdhezdehz (8:56:24 PM): ano nga?
M (8:56:31 PM): wala un
M (8:56:36 PM): tae aalis ndin ako
M (8:56:53 PM): d2 ln ako sa haws ng klasm8 ko
dehzdhezdehz (8:56:56 PM): well, sorry tlga...
M (8:56:57 PM): :D
M (8:57:03 PM): wala un
M (8:57:06 PM): loko ka tlaga
dehzdhezdehz (8:57:10 PM): gags bakit?
M (8:57:17 PM): wala
M (8:57:18 PM): haha
dehzdhezdehz (8:57:23 PM): weh
dehzdhezdehz (8:57:29 PM): taena, iwasan na ba kita? haha
M (8:57:39 PM): aw
M (8:57:45 PM): tae ka
dehzdhezdehz (8:57:57 PM): haha.. seryoso ako..
dehzdhezdehz (8:58:03 PM): mmya sabihn ni kath inaagaw pa kita
M (8:58:06 PM): ang hrap dn kc eh
dehzdhezdehz (8:58:12 PM): na?
M (8:58:28 PM): kc hanggat maaari ayoko ng may masaktan
M (8:58:31 PM): :(
dehzdhezdehz (8:58:43 PM): sino ba mssaktan mo? ako? haha..
M (8:58:54 PM): basta
M (8:58:57 PM): :(
dehzdhezdehz (8:59:01 PM): go..
dehzdhezdehz (8:59:03 PM): sabihn mo na........
dehzdhezdehz (8:59:09 PM): haha..
M (8:59:24 PM): bsta, ang hrap mag bitaw ng salita eh
M (8:59:30 PM): xenxa kana ha
M (8:59:41 PM): ayoko nrin kcng magkamali
M (9:00:18 PM): ui
dehzdhezdehz (9:00:20 PM): o?
M (9:00:28 PM): alis na q?
dehzdhezdehz (9:00:35 PM): ikawwwwwww
dehzdhezdehz (9:00:44 PM): wahaha, dapt di ko na lang sinabi sayo.. :))
M (9:00:48 PM): aw
M (9:01:07 PM): naman
M (9:01:12 PM): glit ka?
M (9:01:43 PM): ui
dehzdhezdehz (9:01:44 PM): glit nnman? ahahaha..
dehzdhezdehz (9:01:46 PM): ano ba..
M (9:02:02 PM): ?
M (9:02:15 PM): badminton?
dehzdhezdehz (9:02:24 PM): ha?
dehzdhezdehz (9:02:28 PM): anong badminton?
M (9:02:33 PM): ??
dehzdhezdehz (9:02:37 PM): ano?
M (9:02:55 PM): cge alis na ko
M (9:03:01 PM): sori ha
dehzdhezdehz (9:03:08 PM): heheh..
M (9:03:10 PM): gudnyt >:D<:-*
dehzdhezdehz (9:03:15 PM): wla naman ako krpatan mgalit sayo..
dehzdhezdehz (9:03:21 PM): waahha gags
M (9:03:27 PM): alis na ko
dehzdhezdehz (9:03:33 PM): wag kang gnyan.. mmaya ma-fall pa ko sayo eh..
dehzdhezdehz (9:03:35 PM): mhrap na..
M (9:03:41 PM): loko ka
M (9:03:46 PM): bxta
dehzdhezdehz (9:03:46 PM): seryoso ako.
M (9:04:05 PM): kita kits nlng sa UP
M (9:04:06 PM): haha
dehzdhezdehz (9:04:10 PM): UP?
M (9:04:12 PM): balita ko dun ka daw ha
dehzdhezdehz (9:04:17 PM): whaaaaat? haha.
M (9:04:18 PM): nxt year
dehzdhezdehz (9:04:20 PM): sino may sabi?
M (9:04:25 PM): kariz
dehzdhezdehz (9:04:28 PM): di ko nga alm kung ppasa ko eh
dehzdhezdehz (9:04:29 PM): heheh..
M (9:04:29 PM): haha
M (9:04:33 PM): kaya yan
dehzdhezdehz (9:04:39 PM): hahha..
dehzdhezdehz (9:04:44 PM): mas gusto ko ust or admu
M (9:04:50 PM): nyek
M (9:04:52 PM): ocge na
M (9:04:56 PM): alis na tlga ako
dehzdhezdehz (9:04:57 PM): ay
dehzdhezdehz (9:05:01 PM): mglload kaba?
M (9:05:06 PM): sun?
dehzdhezdehz (9:05:09 PM): ikaw
M (9:05:15 PM): cge try ko parin
M (9:05:16 PM): haaha
dehzdhezdehz (9:05:17 PM): ahha
M (9:05:20 PM): bsta
dehzdhezdehz (9:05:21 PM): yes or no lang..
M (9:05:25 PM): txt nlng kita bigla
dehzdhezdehz (9:05:30 PM): weh. HAHAHAAHA
M (9:05:36 PM): geh na tae
M (9:05:40 PM): bye na
dehzdhezdehz (9:05:47 PM): oo na KATH :) bye
M (9:05:49 PM): aw
M (9:05:52 PM): loko ka
M (9:05:58 PM): gudnyt >:D<:-*
dehzdhezdehz (9:05:59 PM): =((
M (9:06:02 PM): waaaaaaaaaaaa
M (9:06:09 PM): cge nxt tym nlng tyo mag uxap
M (9:06:14 PM): ha ha ha
M (9:06:15 PM): ??
dehzdhezdehz (9:06:20 PM): wag na.. ahahahaha
M (9:06:25 PM): kelangan lng tlga
M (9:06:28 PM): bxta
dehzdhezdehz (9:06:29 PM): bakit?
M (9:06:32 PM): alis na ko
M (9:06:35 PM): nxt tym nlng
M (9:06:37 PM): ha
dehzdhezdehz (9:06:39 PM): ha?
M (9:06:44 PM): bye na
dehzdhezdehz (9:06:45 PM): sige micko.. ingat lagi.. :)
M (9:06:49 PM): kw rin
dehzdhezdehz (9:06:49 PM): >:D<:*
M (9:06:55 PM): >:D<:-*
dehzdhezdehz (9:06:55 PM): isang txt lang ako
dehzdhezdehz (9:06:57 PM): :)
M (9:07:01 PM): huh?
M (9:07:03 PM): :D
dehzdhezdehz (9:07:10 PM): hinde, pag may kelangan ka.. tungak. :))
M (9:07:10 PM): bye na ha
M (9:07:16 PM): ah cge
dehzdhezdehz (9:07:16 PM): oo na. ;p
M (9:07:17 PM): bye
M (9:07:25 PM): gudnyt >:D<:-*
dehzdhezdehz (9:07:30 PM): nkakarami ka ha
dehzdhezdehz (9:07:30 PM): hahaha
dehzdhezdehz (9:07:31 PM): :))
dehzdhezdehz (9:07:34 PM): >:D<:*
M (9:07:35 PM): :d
M (9:07:39 PM): >:D<:-*
M (9:07:40 PM): >:D<:-*
M (9:07:42 PM): bye na
dehzdhezdehz (9:07:51 PM): :)

DO YOU?

2007-06-26T17:52:00.000-07:00

do you know that she thinks of you every second
of the day? do you know that she wonders where
you are and if you're safe? do you know that her
heart is buried in your hands? do you know that
you're her star, and she's your number one fan. do
you know what she feels every time you look and smile?
do you know that for you, she'd walk a whole mile?
do you that her love is special and true? if you know all
the following then you know that she loves you.

SCHOOL... NOT. :|

2007-06-22T21:36:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been 8 days since we had our first day at school. Kinda boring, really. Plus the weather has been really irritating. Ugh. I hate ittttt!!

I miss 3-7. :( It's sorta hard for me to adjust to my new set of classmates. :(

Oye, I went to Gateway kanina with Gela, Yana and Kamae. Got to spend more time with Gela and Yana, though. Kamae and her boyfie just followed lang naman eh. I, together with the two girls, watched Ocean's 13. Didn't get to finish it coz Kamae was already waiting for us outside the moviehouse. So there. Wasn't that boring naman. So-so, kumvguh. ;)

Wanna go shopping! Sale sa MNG. Fcuk. I want that hoodie!!

2007-06-12T19:37:00.000-07:00

Hello, 4-10. Haha.

Leche.. Dulo kami. :|

Thank you Cessa for the picture. ;)

2007-06-11T23:16:00.000-07:00

MC SURVEY, yo. :D

[] Got an A- in T.H.E.

[ ] Got a C in conduct

[x] have been sent to the YLC

[] have been sent outside the classroom

[x] cheated in a test/ exam

[] got caught cheating

[x] texted in class

[] got caught texting/ phone beeped

[ ] cutting classes

[x] wore her complete GREEN UNIFORM

[x] doesn't wear the MC socks (Sometimes lang. ;P)

[] got more than 2 tempo. ID’s in a quarter.

[] used another MC ID Strap because she left her ID at home.

[] forged the GATE PASS

[ ] borrowed COMMUTER’S PASS from a friend/classmate.

[] borrowed an equipment at the AV and never returned it.

[] became a SAVA.

[] fought with the lady guard.

[x] thinks that checking of bags is lame.

[x] was fetched late at the Brenan Drive

[] stays at the gate near CSC every morning.

[] goes to school after 7:20am

[x] stays at the Kalachuchi Area during recess or lunch (Only when there are group meetings and such.)

[x] goes to the Mini Forest. (Last intrams! Hehe.)

[] goes to the college lanai to chill.

[x] went to the Satellite Clinic.

[x] watched a banaag show at the Sinag Tala

[x] watched the Sayawatha/MC Pep perform outside school (WNCAA)

[] went to the clinic during Sr.Valenton’s class.

[x] did the BEC class seriously. [I think so? :))]

[x] actually reads KERYGMA.

[x] still has her CFC book.

[] had a crush on Sr.Gelo

[x] thinks that Sr.Diwa is good looking (I used to. :D)

[] Sr.Gani anyone?

[x] played basketball/volley or any other sport NOT wearing her PE uniform

[x] “forgot” to bring her lab apron.

[x] actually read Florante at Laura

[x] actually read Noli Me Tangere

[x] actually read El Filibusterismo

[] actually read Ibong Mandaragit

[x] became silent for at least a minute during the English defense.

[x] went to the library to “study”

[x] actually read Romeo and Juliet (Well, the first few pages. Hahaha.)

[] actually read Midsummer a Night’s Dream

[x] actually read Merchant of Venice

[x] does her HRR.

[] broke a lab material.

[] disected a frog without gloves. (EW?)

[x] participated well during the Asian Fest

[x] listened during health discussions

[x] wrote homeworks/updated her planner.

[x] sang the Miriam Song with her heart.

[x] uses her songbook

[] memorizes the Mission-Vission

[x] says the Miriam of Nazareth prayer

[ ] is empowered like Mary to lead in service.

[x] does the “L” sign for lav

[x] signs the logbook.

[] is responsible to update the locator board.

[x] asks Kuya Dante or Kuya Jojie for AV related things.

[x] knows where APAA is.

[] got a minor offense for having long fingernails.

[x] isn't seated to her assigned seat.

[] ate Chicken Stroganoff for lunch

[] Chicken Stroganoff + Beef Butter = YUM

[x] ate Garlic Steak for at least two straight days.

[] buys at Chipaneese regularly.

[] ate Smokey’s during recess and lunch.

[] bought at the sizzling station.

[] got sisig and beef randang for lunch from Le Franz

[] got BEEF RANDANG ONLY for lunch.

[x] bought a box of Pizza Royal

[x] thinks that the Jamaican Pattie is small.

[] loves to eat chicken balls.

[x] thinks that the service at the sandwich station is slow. (SUPER.)

[x] waited for more than 10 minutes for her cheese meatloaf to get cooked. (Nah, my Cheeseburger.)

[] misses Mocha Blends.

[] misses Japanese cakes.

[x] bought candies at ate Elvira’s.

[x] buys candies/chocolates for the next class.

[] GOTO anyone?

[x] Fiorgellato for dessert?

[] had four small california maki’s for recess/lunch.

[] still uses MEAL CARDS.

[] melon juice,buko pandan juice,mango juice

[] Ham and Cheese crunch with ketchup and mayo dip.

[x] vandalized the tables at the café

[] hangs out at the caf before the morning ceremony

[] hangs out at the caf after school.

[x] goes to MCDO Katips at least twice a week.

[x] tryc is fun.

[x] bought food from white house

[] escaped from the guard near the GS parking lot.

HAHAHA. :D Got this from Issa. :)

2007-06-08T17:04:00.000-07:00

Hahaha. Haven't edited that thingy on the right yet. :))

Karen's the coolest! :D Look what she drew. Hehe.

Durrr! :D

2007-06-06T09:09:00.002-07:00

New layout. Plain, right? Eee. That's why I don't like it that much. :)) Hafta search for more. I'll edit it prolly later. ;) There.

Well, well. I have a new crush. :x Haha, won't mention his name, though. Tsaka na..

Btw, my stat in ym a while ago was, "When you forget her, remember me. || imy." I was chatting with my new crush rin kanina. And he told me that, "When you forget him, remember me. Imy." HAHAH WTF

Nakakakilig, in short. :))

IM

2007-06-04T22:17:00.000-07:00

Hahaha. Read!

:">

REALIZATIONS.

2007-06-03T09:22:00.000-07:00

I've realized that true love is any love at any age, regardless of my constantly evolving standards & personal growth. No matter how young I was, or how old I was; how naive, or how adept I was; how narrow-minded, or how mature I was; each boy I've ever loved, I loved truly. Fuck fairytales & dreams. Where's the truth in mixing utopian expectations with fictitious imagination? It isn't about a kiss from a prince or a knight in shining armor. It's not about sleeping beauties & princesses disguised as filthy women who cook & clean. It's more about a brute & a bitch, who look past their faults & become perfect, to and for each other, in their imperfections. It's about yelling, screaming, fighting, living, & dying; as if your own heartache didn't already tell you enough. Search for the truth in the tears that fall from swollen eyes & in the blood that drips from slit wrists & bleeding lips. Pain is real & blood is life. What more appropriate place to find true love right? I've cried rivers & bled lakes for what I know was true, & fuck you for telling me that it isn't real because I didn't last. If you haven't cried or bled over lost love, then you haven't felt the depths or known the extent at which you truly loved.

2007-05-30T23:24:00.000-07:00

Ang sarap maligo sa ulan. :))

I miss.... :(

SECRET LOVE.

2007-05-25T06:59:00.000-07:00

That song fits my situation right now. Really.

I'm sure everyone, or at least most of us, have experienced loving someone who wasn't aware of your feelings for him/her. It's really hard, isn't it?

You wanna talk, or even be with him. But of course, you can't. Sometimes it's because of shyness, or even worse, he's avoiding you. Idk. Secret love is just THAT MUCH complicated.

Errr. But what can we do, right? :(

2007-05-25T01:14:00.000-07:00

I think

.....I'm in love :)

2007-05-23T07:50:00.001-07:00

Every girl needs a man; the kind that will treat you right as well as others; the kind that has enough respect for himself, family & others; the one that will change for you to just be with you. The kind that searches for you with his heart, the kind that can be trusted alone with a room full of many other beautiful ladies, the kind that won`t cheat on you cause he knows he`s got all he wants & needs already, the kind that`s willing to be your friend & lover, the kind that doesn`t mind calling you early in the morning to say good morning & late at night to say good night; maybe even sing you a good morning & tell you a good night story or talk to you until you fall asleep. The kind that will do anything for you, even if it`s just to buy your favorite kind of candy. The kind that will defend & fight for you, the kind that won`t ditch you for his friends when you need him the most, the kind that won`t leave you lonely & wondering, the ones that call you surprisingly, even if he's with his friends, just to tell you that he loves you & misses you a lot. The kind that isn`t afraid to smile to his friends every time you`re around & tells them, "She`s the one." The kind that appreciates you for the things you do for him, even if they`re little. The kind that actually thanks you for the little love notes you leave him, the kind that is willing to wait for you when you`re falling behind, the kind that will actually open the door for you, take you out on dates once in a while & buy you flowers cause its a Wednesday. The kind that notices your hair when you just got it cut or done beautifully for him, the kind that reminds you that he loves you & that he`s happy with you in case you forget, the kind that just doesn`t want kisses & hugs but to actually be loved & to love the kind that calls you "beautiful" instead of "hot." The kind that kisses your forehead when you`re down, the kind that tells you to be strong & not to cry, the kind that will go through thick & thin with & for you, the kind that just loves you for who you are. That kind of man, that`s the kind you keep..

I'M ALREADY FIFTEEN. :))

2007-05-21T00:32:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to me! Haha. ;)

Thank you, Papa Jesus. :-) Many thanks for giving me another year to live, to cry, to smile, to laugh, to share what I have to other people. I love you. :)

Mama, I know you won't be able to read this, but still, I wanna thank you for being such a good mother AND father to me and Darrel. Like what I always say, I love you. ALWAYS AND FOREVER. :)

Mommy, you're the best granny ever! Haha. Thank you for always taking care of me eversince the day I was born. Thank you, really, for always being patient to me. I'm aware that we've been through lots of fights, and I'm really sorry for that. I love you much. :)

Daddy, hello. :)) Kahit na hindi mo rin mababasa 'to just like mama and mommy. Haha. Thank you for always giving me what I want. Hahaha. And I really appreciate all the things you've done and will still be doing for me. I love you. :)

Tita! You're the greatest aunt ever. Enough said. I love you. :)

Darrel, my little brother. Sorry for being mean at times. You know naman how much I love you diba. I'm just really not that expressive and showy. Sorry. :)) I love you sooooooo much! :)

Tito Ronald, Dianne, Gelo, Brian- I love you guys. Tito, thank you for being my driver! Haha! Dianne, Gelo, Bry, I love you little cousins. :) I always will. Promise. :)

Kamae bitch! BFF! Haha. Indot, Cancan, at kung ano pa man. You're still MY best bitch. Walang limutan, ha? Love kita, promise! :-) Thanks for everything. Kalokohan. Tawanan. Your never-ending stories. HAHAHA. The green ones.. HAHA. I'm really thankful that you trust me. I love you, bitch. :D

Issa bitch! Halaaaaavyiew. Victoria's ko? Hihi! Joke. Thanks for being my... uhm, idk. Hahahahahah. Basta, alam mo na yuuun. Sorry for being masungit most of the time! ;)) Thanks for everything, too. I love you, bitch. :-)

..And to everyone who made my fourteen years of living happy, complete, whatever.. THANK YOU GUYS. :-) Hope to share another year full of laughter and smiles with you again. :D

Sorry. Emo ata ako. Amp. First time to, ha! Haha.

SURVEY AND BLAH.

2007-05-17T13:08:00.000-07:00

I'm really not in the mood to blog even if there are lots of things happening, not just to me, but also to everyone around me. :)) Oh yeah, ELECTIONS. Damn you, GMA. Go to hell!!!!!!!

WHAT YOU WOULD RATHER BE CALLED?

Babe or Baby?
- baby na lang.

Sweetie or Honey?
- sweetie.

Darling or Dear
- dear. :-)

THIS OR THAT?

hug or kiss?
- both please? :)

white or black
- black.

ground or sky?
- ground.

night or day?
- night.

pool or beach?
- neither. HAHA.

love or lust?
- love shempre.. <33

you or me?
- you and me :D -YEHESSS.

silver or gold?
- either.

left or right?
- rightie.

sunny or rainy?
- rainy.

hot or cold
- cooold!

lake or river
- lake? idk, really. haha.

DO YOU?

eat 3 meals a day
- sometimes.

like someone
- i sooooooo do! ♥

believe in love at 1st sight
- sure.

like school
- kinda. :-)

HAVE YOU EVER

been camping
- hmm, no.

eaten alligator
- who'd do that? haha. ew.

gotten in a fight
- yeah.

been out of the country
- nah, sorry. :(

cursed someone
- HAHAHA YEAH.

held a grudge for more than a
week
- hmm, i guess so.

killed something
- lotsa times.

had a mud fight
- no.

kissed someone on the bed or kissed somebody
the rain?
- havnt tried the rain kiss :D -ME TOO :)

watched a scary movie or a funny
one
- i don't watch scary movies THAT much eh. but, DUH. shempre i've seen several na. hehe.

hold hands or being held
- yuh.

held at the shoulders or held at
the waist
- yeah. :-)

QUESTIONS

is your hair wet?
- no.

is your cell phone right beside
you?
- nah.

do you miss someone?
- sure!

are you wearing chopsticks?
- hahaha, no.

are you tired
- not really.

are you excited
- yeah.

are you watching tv
- no. there's nothing worth watching. haha.

are you wearing pajamas
- nope. :-)

Teka. Eto matindi eh. Bwahaha. ;)

L: unbelievably great in bed.
U: you are really silly.
I: great in bed.
S: easy to fall in love with.
T: you're loyal to those you love
R: fuckin crazy. (in a fun way)
O: awesome kisser.

WHAT DOES YOUR LAST NAME SAY ABOUT
YOU?:
A: you like to drink.
B: you like people.
C: you are really silly.
D: one in a million.
E: great in bed.
F: you are dead sexy.
G: you never let people tell you what
to do.
H: you have a very good personality,
looks and a very good kisser.
I: great in bed.
J: people adore u.
K: you're wild and crazy.
L: unbelievably great in bed.
M: great in bed.
N: you like to drink a LOT.
O: awesome kisser.
P: you are hypocrite.
Q: you are popular with all types of
people.
R: fuckin crazy. (in a fun way)
S: easy to fall in love with.
T: you're loyal to those you love
U: you are really silly.
V: you are not judgemental
W: you are very broad minded.
X: you never let people tell you what
to do.
Y: best boy/girl friend any one can
ask for.
Z: always ready.

Oh well. Hahaha. :))

YAY. NEW POST!

2007-05-12T07:11:00.000-07:00

Hahaha. Yeah right.. I'm really too lazy to update. No one but Issa knows this thingy naman eh. :)) I guess I'd like to keep it that way. ;) It's good to have privacy, you know? :)

I have Review Classes tomorrow. It kinda gets more and more tiring.. Hehe. Good thing it's only for three weeks. :)

Issa shall see and sit beside Ron tomorrow. Bwahaha. Good luck, woman.

-XX.

Gemini :))

2007-04-22T10:33:00.001-07:00

GEMINI - Irresistible
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great
listeners Very Good in the you know
where... Lover not a fighter, but will
still knock you out.
Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud.
Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING.
Loves to make out. Has a beautiful
smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST
IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if
you do not post.

Eyebags Alert.

2007-04-07T16:26:00.000-07:00

I have eyebags. Ew. So yeah, I promise I'm not gonna sleep late anymore! :((

Mom's coming home tomorrow night. Weeeee. :))

Anyway, I so love Silent Sanctuary's Ikaw Lamang. Teehee. And I miss C, btw. :((

Di ko maintindihan
Ang nilalaman ng puso
Tuwing magkahawak ang ating kamay
Pinapanalangin lagi tayong magkasama
Hinihiling bawat oras kapiling ka

Sa lahat ng aking ginagawa
Ikaw lamang ang nasa isip ko sinta
Sana’y di na tayo magkahiwalay
Kahit kailan pa man

Ikaw lamang ang aking minamahal
Ikaw lamang ang tangi kong inaasam
Makapiling ka habang buhay
Ikaw lamang sinta
Wala na kong hihingin pa
Wala na

Ayoko ng maulit pa
Ang nakaraang ayokong maalala
Bawat oras na wala ka
Parang mabigat na parusa

Huwag mong kakalimutan na kahit nag-iba
Hindi ako tumigil magmahal sayo sinta

Sa lahat ng aking ginagawa
Ikaw lamang ang nasa isip ko sinta
Sana’y di na tayo magkahiwalay
Kahit kailan pa man

Ikaw lamang ang aking minamahal
Ikaw lamang ang tangi kong inaasam
Makapiling ka habang buhay
Ikaw lamang sinta
Wala na kong hihingin pa
Wala na

Missing you.

2007-04-04T04:26:00.000-07:00

I miss Kamae.. :(Isang sincere na sorry lang, Kamae. Yun lang..

Thanks, Karen! :)

She`s like so whatever.

2007-04-01T14:37:00.000-07:00

Tangina mo. How dare you? Tangina mo talaga. Pakamatay ka na. PWEDE?

Oh-so-boring.

2007-03-31T19:57:00.000-07:00

This day's oh so boring.

I woke up at 10, watched the telly, had lunch, watched the telly again, had Halo-Halo for merienda, slept, woke up, took a bath, surfed the net. Eeeerr. I already turned off the computer moments ago.. but since I am not yet sleepy, I opened it again. Hahaha. Fudge. Can't wait till mom arrives then we're off to Puerto Galera. Hmmmm.

Glorietta tomorrow! I'm gonna watch a Fashion Show. I got free tickets from my designer eh. :D

See you, Issa bitch. =)

A Movie-Script Ending:Yellow Promenade 2007.

2007-03-30T10:23:00.000-07:00

Last night was a blast even if I didn't have a date! Haha. The event was supposed to start by 6pm.. But yeah, Filipino time eh! So it started at 7 something instead. There was a red carpet, media something.. blah. Stuff you usually see in Hollywood events. ;P I loved everything.. my make-up and hairstyle plus my gown. :)) It wasn't really that WOAH. Twas color red with some black. The theme was Hollywood so yeah, it was long! Almost all my friends stepped on(?) it. HAHAHA.

Damn, Kei wore a gown! Couldn't imagine her wearing such at first. ;P Tinalo pa niya hairstyle at make-up ko kagabi eh! Hihi. Her nails and toenails had nail polish, too. Girlalooo.. :)) Your date sucks, btw. You should have given me your 1700 instead. I could've bought three pieces of clothes already! Sayang.

Yana's date last night was.. can I say hot? :P Shehet. Sizzling hot eh! Fuck. I looove him. Haha. I'm kidding.

I left by 12mn. I wanted to stay pa, but I couldn't since my sundo was already there.. :))

Pictures here. Those are just some of the many pictures we took. I didn't have a camera, so I used my phone lang. Most of the pictures are still with Lara. Upload na, babe! =))

Promenade.

2007-03-28T17:53:00.000-07:00

Prom tomorrow.

Eksayted na meee! ;P

Seriously? Hmm.

2007-03-27T19:53:00.000-07:00

I'm missing him.. :( Fucking seriously.

Yeah whatever, it's all my fault. ALL MINE. Letting him go is just so stupid of me. I know how much he loved and still loves me. But ugh, I'm just plain stupid!! REALLY. Last night, he asked me if I still love him.. And you know what I said? "Ewan.." Hay.. Then by 3 in the morning, I received a text from him. I won't mention whatever the text says anymore. It's kinda long although it's the sweetest message I ever received from him. O basta, the line which I really liked was, "Ewan ko ba kung bakit ang lakas ng tama ko sa'yo." Yun yun eh. His simple hirits which I really love and appreciate. Makes me miss him moreeeee! :(

YOU: If ever you'll be able to read this.. I hope you know that I really have loved and still feels the same for you. I know I wasn't good enough for you and yet, you were always there to make me feel loved. I admit that during those almost two months of being together, I wasn't really that fair to you. I was the one who kept on getting mad because of the littlest things. Geez. I just really love you, babe! :( I'll always feel that way for you. Please always remember that.

I don't care how far you are from me or how longs it's been since we've talked. I dont care how mad I got at you or how mad you've been at me. You're still what matters most to me and I will never be able to give that up.

Here`s to all the girls.. .

2007-03-26T14:29:00.000-07:00

I shall get my gown for the prom later.. Wee. :]

I have something to share! Read, honey. :)

Here's to all the girls who used to be his number one. The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check the caller ID the next morning & be disappointed. The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, & moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened. Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, "I only want to be your friend", one day, and the next, listened to him say how much he loves & misses you. We deserve something, and this is our tribute. Here's to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change. We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, caught crap from our parents, & even snuck around to see him for while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking it would be just friends, & ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us. Here's to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here's for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn't possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us. We learned to settle for someone who didn't treat us the way we should be treated. Here's for the ones who did their hair and make up & put on their prettiest earrings, only to hear him say that he couldn't see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn't believe that he could do this to us again. This is for those great girls who loved him more than words can say, & took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn't bear to look back on their lives one day & wonder "what if". This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, & cried during the entire conversation. The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us. When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her, he didn't mean it. This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with. This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, & get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that "things were going too fast, he needs time." Here's to the girls who couldn't cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt. The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn't bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an "I told you so." The ones that could just tell that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts & their dreams again. We knew that we deserved better the entire time, that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us whenever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that. Here's for the ones that finally realized that he never gave a crap about them. Here's for the time that he broke your heart again. This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, & the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment. Here's for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better. This is for those confusing days, when you miss him & want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist. Stay strong and remember that relationships are like broken glass; sometimes it's better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together & get hurt. Remember the times you cried & how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that. When 'your song' comes on the radio, turn the station. When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made & tries calling, turn your phone off. When he tries coming to your house, don't answer the door. Think of the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation & the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the crap he was. Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night & how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn't him, and realized that once again, he hadn't called when he said he was going to. One day you'll find a guy who's worth all the tears, but he won't make you cry. You may think that you'll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will. It's going to hurt like crap, & it's going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal. This is for those girls who fell back in love with their ex, only to get hurt all over again.

A Junior.. NOT ANYMORE.

2007-03-25T19:00:00.000-07:00

I'm bored. :| Well, I always am. Teehee.

This week wasn't really boring.. It was kinda fun, actually.

MONDAY
Geom and Fil exams. Yaaay. No more Geom! :))

TUESDAY
Social Studies exam. Twas a bit hard. I didn't get to memorize all the terms kasi eh. Hihi.

WEDNESDAY
Chem and CL exams. Eaaaaaaseeh, babeh. HAHA. Last day of Junior Year, btw. Super happppppppy! :) :) :D Golda's birthday, too! :) We were supposed to go Yellow Cab Katip but since the guards saw us, we weren't able to. Grr. Boo. We had the pizza delivered instead. By 3pm, we(Moi, Issa plus Kamae) were on our way to Kamae's house already. Stayed there until 830.

THURSDAY
Went to the mall with my granny. ;D

FRIDAY
Clearance Day. Didn't go to school anymore since I'm already cleared. Went to the derma with Issa after lunch. After spending two and a half hours at the derma, went to Marikina naman. We had our dinner there.

SATURDAY
Just stayed at hoooome! :|

And today.. I still didn't go out. Rahr. Sooooooooooooooo effing boring.

Last Day of Academics.

2007-03-16T22:08:00.000-07:00

HEY GUYS. This is Kamae. I'm using Dessa's blog because I want to, and she can't stop me from doing so. Well then let me start by greeting you guys good afternoon. I'm here at Dessa's place and I don't wanna go home.. :c You know why? Because I'm so freaking depressed. My mom would scold me almost everyday, my father gets home late, my little brothers always tease me, the maids are such whores. :)) Joke. And nobody calls me at home, except for that darn guy. I always call him because it's an impulse. He also said that he was making a project with his classmates. But then suddenly, I heard a voice of a flirty girl calling him. "KIANA.. KIANA" And I was like, "who's that?!" He was like, "my classmate.. I'm about to go home." So, I was like, "k bye. :|" Then after that, I hung up the phone. WHAT A DAMN BOYFRIEND. Is he even a boyfriend? Oh well.. It was around 10:30 and he wasn't texting yet. At 10:45, he used another phone and said, "we're still making the project. I love you and I miss you babe -Kiana Baby Bubu." I replied, "Kiana Baby Bubu? Haha. Idts." Btw, IDTS means I don't think so. Hahaha. Poor you if you don't know that. :)) At around 12, he texted me and said he just got home. I swore to myself that I won't text nor call him until the next day.. which is today, actually. =)) But then again, I'm always the STUPID and MARTYR girl. So, I'm just stupid. Bye, niggas.

--This is me already!

Teehee. Kamae left an hour ago.. Maybe she's already home now. Well, whatever. I'm still waiting for her text, though.

We had our last "formal" class in English, Geom, Social Studies and THE a while ago. I loved what Miss Lin told us. It's like this.. everytime the bell rings and our English class ends, instead of saying "Good bye and thank you," she'd say, "See you tomorrow 3-7!" It's really like that everyday. But a while ago when the bell rang, which signaled the end of English class, she said, "Goodbye and thank you 3-7!" Aww. It's just so sad to know that it'd be our last English class as Juniors. Time indeed flies so fast. :|

Geometry was our second subject. We had a quiz, then that's it. Sir Gerald didn't even bother to say a simple goodbye or thank you. Why's he like that? I wonder.

Sir Jeff's the sweetest teacher eveeer! He made a letter for our class and he read it in front of us. It was just so touching and sweet, and everything! I wish that he'll be our Economics teacher next year. He's really super patient and nice! :D He also let us hear a song entitled "Remember Me This Way." We took pictures with him! :D Nicenice. I love ya, Sir. :)

After SS was Recess time, then Club something. It was boring, except when several clubs performed. Hehe. Sayawatha's performance was the bomb! :))

Lunch. Then, THE followed. We didn't have the Open-house anymore; we'll have it on Mon-Wed instead. The LT was fucking uncool. It was so looooooong! We also had our Diagnostic Test in THE after the LT. We took it for only 20 or 25 mins! Bwaaha. Hula-hula na lang eh. Hehe. Uhm, then Sir Basti told us that he won't be teaching anymore. He's going to the States with his family.. Sad? I know. :(

A lot of things happened today.. Some were fun, and some weren't. I'm glad that the hell weeks are "temporarily" over. But then again, I'll surely miss those weeks of cramming, procrastinating, whatsoever. And of course, I'll miss my teachers too! Especially Sir Dayag. But I'll see him next week naman eh.

Good night, loves. :)

If it wasn`t because of YOU..

2007-03-15T16:55:00.000-07:00

UGH! Drrrr.

I'm so pissed off right now. :| If it wasn't because of that grade those two other teachers gave me, I could have passed the Oral Defense!! GRRRRRR. From 37.33, it lowered down to 31.17. A point or two na lang.. Tsktsk.

But anyway.. what else can I do? Hmp.

THE Open-house tomorrow!

2007-03-13T03:10:00.000-07:00

School was not fun.. It was SUPEEEEEEER fun! :))

First subject was English. Defense, mehn. Yana's finally done! Yay. ;D Next was Geom.. which was really boring. Ugh. Then, Social Studies after. Discussion as usual. :)) I finally had written notes. Haha, kudos to me. =)) Coz really, I'm too lazy and uninterested na in copying the notes.. :)) Too long, I swear. :)) Afterwhich was Recess, then Chem. We got to know our LT2 results. And as expected, I flunked it. 3 points na lang pasado na eh. Oh well. After Chem was PE! We had the whole period sa MMJ Field, that's why we were able to play Agawan Base, Ice Ice Water and Patintero. LOVEEEE! Teehee. PE was followed by Lunch, then Fil, then Guidance. Ayun.

Last PE and Guidance class. :( Wala ng Guidance Class next year.. HMP.

First Love. <3

2007-03-12T16:52:00.000-07:00

School was.. fun? :)) Haha, enough said. :)

It's 12 today.. :)) Hmmmm. Talk about first love. I miss.. everyone! =))

I remembered something. Hahahaa. It's really funny. :)) "Mahal kita, mahal mo siya. Ang sakit, di ba?" -Sir Gerald Hahaha.

I`ve accepted that we can`t be, but I`ve also accepted that you`re going to be that one person I carry with me for the rest of my life, the one that`s always going to make my heart jump a little & my stomach tie up in knots & you`ll always be able to make me happy ; no matter how long it`s been.

So much boredom.

2007-03-11T12:50:00.000-07:00

It's Sunday again.. Then, school tomorrow. Ughhh. A week and three days more before vacation starts. Can't wait much. :))

I might take Basketball lessons on summer. ;) I really really have to lose weight. Teehee. Then dance lessons, too. Wee. K. Okay na ko nito.. Haha.

I'm downloading songs right now. Simply because I'm really bored. :)) There are lots of requirements to finish, though. Many pages of El Filibusterismo to read.. Many names to memorize for Social Studies.. And finally, many formulas to master for Chemistry and Geom. :))

Did I mention that I'm bored? Hmm. Bwahaha.

Nobody understands how much I miss you, I miss how much we used to talk, & miss all the things we used to do. I try not to admit it to myself that I still feel this way. Nobody knows that I still wake up thinking of you each day. I still think of you & I really do miss you. I would give up everything I have to be everything we`re not.

Hey, babe.

2007-03-09T13:42:00.000-08:00

I want you to know that I love you. I never did stop. Not for one gasping second. My love for you is unconditional & it will never end as long as I live. I refuse to find others when I have the one I want. I never doubted us, but you did. I never stopped thinking about you even though you stopped thinking about me. I never wanted to let go, but you did. I would go through anything just to be in your arms again.

We were supposed to be three months today.. :(

Way Back Into Love = LURVE.

2007-03-07T15:29:00.000-08:00

I wanna watch Music and Lyrics.. :(

I love its Soundtrack! :) :)

I’ve been living with a shadow overhead
I’ve been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I’ve been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can’t seem to move on

I’ve been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I’ve been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I’ve been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I’ve been searching but I just don’t see the signs
I know that it’s out there
There’s got to be something for my soul somewhere
I’ve been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody just to get me throught the night
I could use some direction
And I’m open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I’m hoping you’ll be there for me in the end
There are moments when I don’t know if it’s real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I’m hoping you’ll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I’ll be there for you in the end

What a day.

2007-03-06T20:59:00.000-08:00

We had our Practical Test in PE a while ago. FUTSAL, man. I love it. Haha. I made a goal! Weeee. ;P We were tie with the Pink Team, though. Good enough, isn't it? It was a nice game, indeed. :)

PE was before lunch. So obviously, since we played Futsal nga, I was really tired. After lunch was Filipino. I fell asleep during the class! Due to the hot weather, and boredom too. HAHA. I don't like it when it's hot.. :| I feel so kadiri eh.

I haven't been able to talk to or even text Lervicke these past few days. Well, we're just both busy I guess. ;))

I found two nice quotes, btw.. :)

I have come to realize that he's just a guy, a special one maybe, but he's not mine. I don't need to do things to make him love me again. If he wanted to, he would.

Love is the stupidest thing in the world and it doesn't mean a thing to me. Because tell me; what does love really do for you? It makes your heart pound 100 miles a minute, makes you cry yourself to sleep at night, makes you wait by the phone just to see if he'll call, makes you spend money on material things to cover up what's inside so that maybe he'll notice you. Love is full of Maybe's; it's never a sure thing. Love can be lost easily as it is found. Love can turn to hate, jealousy, and greed. Emotions are to be felt, acted upon; to be given and received; love isn't meant for that. It is only said and words mean nothing.

Aww. So trueee. :)) I miss him terribly. :|

Talk about bad luck.

2007-03-05T17:05:00.000-08:00

My defense sucked. Poraaa. My powerpoint presentation didn't fucking work. Shit na yan. Tas tipong nakalimutan ko pa yung drafts ng Intro, Body, and Conclusion ko at home eh. I'm so stupppppppppppid. :((

But theeeen. I'm thankful na rin. At least I'm already done! Weeee. I'm not really expecting a high grade from Miss Lin. :)) Coz I am aware that I don't deserve naman talaga a high grade. ;]

Geom LT tomorrow. I haven't studied yet! Haha. Hafta go! :)

Defense Shit.

2007-03-04T22:30:00.000-08:00

Oral defense starts tomorrow. Wish me luck, sweeties. :|

It's already 10:30 and I'm not yet done with my effing Powerpoint Presentation. How's that? :| Sucks, super.

Goodluck talaga sa'kin..

Class Retreat.

2007-03-02T13:59:00.000-08:00

So, I haven't blogged for 6 days already! Haha, I'm so sorry.. A lot of school works are really keeping me busy. :| And btw, I'm the second out of forty students to present next week. Haaaa. Imagine that! Of all the other 38 students, why me? :((

But then.. After all those hell weeks, or months even, yesterday until just a while ago, my class had went to Bukal ng Tipan. It's located somewhere in Taytay, Rizal. Not that far from MC. :) We had our retreat.. finally! We were really supposed to have it last October pa, but due to Bagyong Milenyo(if I'm not mistaken), it was postponed. There.. I had a very good time. ;P And I'm sure that my classmates did, too.

I just wanna say thank you to everyone who made my life meaningful for the past 14 years.. :) I love you much much! ;D

Picturess!

More pictures here.

She`s the one..

2007-02-22T13:48:00.000-08:00

Haaaah. I love.. <3

She's the one you call when you're bored because she makes you laugh. She's the one you talk to when you're feeling down because she's willing to lend an ear & be a friend. She's not the one you call when you need a date to your company's Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night. She's the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find "The One." You know, the one who you keep around in the meantime. She's not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don't look at her as a 'real' woman, either. She's not bitchy enough, or moody enough to be seen in that light. She's too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She's too understanding, too comfortable; she doesn't make you feel nervous or excited the way a 'real' woman does. But she's cool, and nice, and funny, & attractive enough that when you're lonely & need female companionship, she'll do just fine. You don't have to wine & dine her because she knows the real you already, & you don't have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve. You're not trying to get anything of substance out of her, she's not easy, but you know that she cares about you & is attracted to you, & that she'll give you the friend you need. And you know you don't have to explain yourself or the situation, that she'll be able to cope with the fact that this isn't the beginning of a relationship or that there's any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her. It won't bother her that you'll go on a date with the woman you've been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She'll settle for a goodbye hug & a promise to call her & tell her how the date went. She's just so cool.

But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don't because to you, the situation between the two of you isn't important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it's really not fair. You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points & all the fun you two have, you don't think she's good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it's mostly her fault, because she doesn't have to give in to your needs. She could play the hard-to-get person like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you & she both know that she probably couldn't pull it off. Maybe she's too short, or a little overweight, or has a big birthmark on her forehead, or works at Taco Bell. Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, & you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman. You'll joke to her that she should be the best man at your wedding, & she'll laugh and make a joke about a smelly rental tux. She doesn't captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd. She's safe. She doesn't want to be the center of attention & turn the heads of everyone in the room, but she wants to turn someone's head. She wants to be special to someone, too. We all do. She has feelings; she has a heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger & better heart than any woman you've ever known because she's had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, & she likes you anyway. She obviously sees something worthwhile & redeeming in you because although you've given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is. And someday, she won't be around.

Yay.

2007-02-10T13:14:00.000-08:00

All new blog. ;)

& its those days you wish
you had a boyfriend to cuddle with,
hold hands, kiss, tell him everything;
i just want to be loved.